writing to real people
If I could spend my life writing letters to people, I would.
Communication is integral to my work life. I write emails and Slack messages, and talk to people on calls all day long. But none of that is the kind of writing that moves my soul, igniting some deep-seated passion for cooking Asian food or revealing my influence in someone else’s life. No. Work emails and Zoom calls don’t reach that level of intimacy.
But letters? Those scrunched-up balls of love notes or failed drawings to send to a friend, those neatly folded missives that become their own envelopes, carrying minuscule writing telling grand adventures — yeah, those are the real deal.
Writing personal correspondence is a thoughtful affair. Sometimes, it is a languorous, delicious exploration of the depths of passion quite unlike anything else. At other times, it drags you through the pangs of guilt and desperation and defeats you before you even begin drafting “Dear so-and-so …”
Writing to real people takes time. It’s an investment into loving relationships and long-distance friendships into being. A deeply personal act, letter writing carries the weight of grief, the ephemerality of joy, the embarrassment of silliness, and the sudden hilarity of things only that person will understand. Letters are good at keeping secrets that you wouldn’t dare say aloud. There’s a certainty and longevity to such confessions, a romance even.
And although paper-based letters are a rarity these days, we haven’t lost the art of writing to connect with each other — it just looks different now. The Internet and its many anonymous, crowded platforms are the vehicles that carry our innermost thoughts. This format change from pens to screens still keeps the flame alive. Letter writing isn’t lost; it’s just being done differently. Language morphs into new uses every decade, and the format comes along for the ride. Comments, memes, reels, tweets (x’s? exes??), Tumblr analysis — wherever you are online, everyone is pouring out their feelings to each other.
I’ve kept entire friendships alive by creating a group chat and sending shitposts all day. It’s obviously reciprocated; that’s what makes it fun and meaningful. Silly cat comics, recipe reels, piping hot fanfics, and watercolour YouTube videos capture the mundane emotions and minutiae of my life for my faraway friends. It seems facile, but sending these digital creations paves the way for serious conversations and eases the difficult ones.
Writing to real people is as straightforward as we choose to make it. While the situation determines the tone and language, when we write, we have the dual privileges of courage and forbearance. We aren’t talking to the receiver immediately, and we can draft and redraft as many times as we like so that the things we write have a reason to exist on the page. So whether we send funny comics about family or crack videos about the live-action “Avatar the Last Airbender,” communicating with real people takes many forms.
There are days when I miss the simplicity of passing notes in class, or opening a letter in the post with my name on the envelope. On those days, I open up my nearest messaging app, with my feelings at my fingertips. And I write to someone.